Reminders

Let me offer some advice to everyone single AF who has recently moved: don't start dating someone almost right away. It can be wonderful and romantic and exciting to be discovering a new city with this person, forming all of these memories with him. And if it works out, that's perfect. You'll always associate places and first experiences with them. So if it doesn't-it will be so very painful. You don't have other memories to revert to when you don't want to think about your first coffee date.

As someone who has always made it a point to not allow her romantic life to take precedent over family or friends, the loneliness is also something new. In past relationships, while I spent a lot of time with my partner, I always made sure to spend just as much with my friends. However, I found I put significantly less effort into making new friends outside of work here because I could rely on the couple I already had, my dad, and the new boyfriend. These friends have been wonderful since it ended, but it's definitely not the same as having multiple groups so I always had someone to go to brunch, ice skating, the movies, or just hang out with at home. And my dad is doing his best, but the poor man hasn't had to deal with my dating life since high school. Oh, how things have changed...ha.

There are days when everything reminds me of him. The other day I was flipping through channels and stopped on a chick flick (figuring I've gotten to the point where romance doesn't immediately make me sad/angry, ha!). However, it turns out the romantic leads in the movie shared our names. Are you kidding?! A couple hours later I was listening to a podcast and one of the guests on it spoke at length about his all-time favorite movie-which I had never seen until we watched it recently. With the music, I know I'm bringing it on myself by continuing to listen to that which was meaningful to us. In the past I've stopped listening to certain artists or albums but I'm really trying not to this time. With my first boyfriend, it was Coldplay...later on the Lumineers. You can 100% figure out the timing of my relationships as they relate to what music was popular!

Because we spent so much time together, shared so many interests, and talked all. the. time. there are nearly constant reminders. I try to just frame it as immersion therapy (social worker alert!) and know that it will become less painful over time. I just can't wait for that day to come.

Any tips in the meantime? I'm all ears!

xoxoxo
Emma

Happy Galentine's Day!

Happy Galentine's Day to all my favorite ladies! 

I am so grateful to have all of you in my life, near and far. 

  

Together from the start.

Camp friends can't be beat.

You know it's a true friendship when you can pick up where you left off-5 years later.

Ohhh I miss summer and sunshine-and these lovely ladies.

Work is about a million times better when you have an amazing team.

So grateful to have have Michelle in Boston-can't wait to continue our East Coast adventures!

And my #1 poetic, noble land-mermaid: my mom. 

Wishing you all a day filled with love and friendship!

xoxoxo

Emma

Welcome to Providence!

Julia's visit this weekend was not only her first trip to Boston, but to Providence as well. As always, we ate a lot of delicious food, but we also made sure to do some walking to work it off!

We started the day with a pilgrimage to PVDonuts...and yes, it deserves that term. Because they are only open 8am-3pm (or until they sell out), you have to get there early. Both times I have gone we have waited in line for about 45 minutes-but it is worth it! Julia and I selected 5 donuts, plus the 6-pack of munchkins for a tasting with dad, his friend, and her 2 year old (we got the cereal milk flavor for her, but we all enjoyed it as well).

Creme brulee, raspberry filled, honey sea salt, brown butter Milky Way, and cereal milk...all delicious!

It's tough to say which was my favorite flavor, but this month I think the creme brûlée has to win out. They change the flavors every month, and I can't wait to try February's!

After pregaming with donuts (and talking superheroes with the donut tasting gang), Julia and I hit our next stop on the Providence Kennedy food tour: Nick's on Broadway. I try my best to bring everyone here as it some of the best seasonal and local fare to be had, but if they don't have significant patience it is not the place to go. Thankfully our donuts were able to tide us over until we were seated at the chef's counter, where we were able to watch (and listen to) all of the food being prepared. With brunch I usually opt for the adult coffee milk (a cocktail based on a classic Rhode Island beverage), but given our plans for later in the day, I figured I had better stick to fully caffeinated and nonalcoholic coffee. The frittata, potatoes, and pesto bread were all freshly made and perfectly presented. As always though, my eyes were bigger than my stomach-they made for excellent leftovers as well!

We then made our way to the RISD Museum-a staple in Providence culture, though I hadn't actually yet made it there. I have found since my NYU days that I have pattern of only engaging in the tourist-y activities until I have visitors-and then realize what I've been missing out on! There was a lovely selection of modern and classical art, including my favorite-textiles. The "Luxurious Lace" exhibit was beautiful, though I would have loved to see more.

The displays in Pendleton House were an excellent way to view these early American items in context. 

We of course took a walk through Brown's campus, and quickly ended up on Thayer Street. For those of you familiar with Ann Arbor but not Providence, it's essentially a combination of South U and State Street. For those who are not, it is a nice combination of student-type places (cheap eats and fun shops) and some nicer restaurants as well. We-ok I-did a little shopping at the secondhand store, 2nd Time Around. I mean, how was I supposed to pass up sparkly pink Kate Spade heels-with bows-at 80% off? We all know that wasn't happening!

We then headed home to get ready for dinner and our night out. I have been following the Beehive Cafe (in Bristol) on Instagram for some time and meaning to try it out, so Julia and I decided to make the drive down-it was absolutely worth it. The mushrooms on toast were delicious, though no photo could do them justice, and the kale salad was healthy and flavorful-a total win.

Two other friends joined us back at home for drinks before going out dancing-and they brought along dessert! An Oreo pudding pie and the cutest little red velvet cake to celebrate our girls' night.

While our time together was over too quickly-always!-we're already planning our next trips. Mine to Michigan, Julia's back here (in warmer weather)..and perhaps some shared travel to Denver and/or Nashville...I can't wait!

xoxoxo
Emma

How do you love yourself?

This question has been at the forefront for me since Friday. Between the inauguration and all that has followed-daily horrifying executive orders, continued reports of emotional and physical violence by those validated by our leadership's dangerous example, the individual tragedies of friends, and my own personal sadness, frustration, and exhaustion, I have to ask myself and others: how do you love yourself? When individuals and society tell you that you are not worthwhile, that you are not valued, and that they do not care-how do you convince yourself they are wrong?

I read. Anything that will help me escape from the current reality, even if it seems a little too relevant (I'm looking at you, 1984, Animal Farm, The Handmaid's Tale...). I'm lucky enough to have access to the digital library Overdrive through my library card, so I never run out of books to read-even if I don't think they are they highest quality literature. I'm also blessed in my friends-of-friends. I was at a gathering Sunday night and talking to a friend when the lovely hostess came up to me with two books. She said, "I don't know exactly what's going on, but I think you need these." They are two completely different books, but she was right. The (much) lighter read is Shit Rough Drafts by Paul Laudiero. You can read his blog here, but I recommend going ahead and ordering the book from Amazon-or even better, your local independent bookstore! 

The other is a book of poetry and prose, milk and honey by Rupi Kaur. Warning: do not read this on the commuter rail or coffee shop. You will cry in public and you will get weird looks. It is writing to savor, to read as you are swaddled in blankets drinking your favorite tea (or wine, no judgment here). Again, do yourself a favor and just purchase it here or go back to your equivalent of Literati Bookstore, one of my favorite places in Ann Arbor, MI. 

I listen to music. Whether I want to wallow, rage, or pull myself up, music can do it. This post will never end if I write about all the music I've been listening to, so I'll just name one-ok two-for each need. 

Embracing the sadness: Joshua Radin. Anyone who knows me can't be surprised by this-I've loved his music since high school and while I will always enjoy and appreciate it, his ability to speak to pain is amazing. Tristan Prettyman. Her album Cedar + Gold just has too much to relate to right now-even if the details are different, the emotions are the same. 

Fighting back: the soundtracks from Hamilton and Wicked. These may be cliche at this point, but oh well! Singing along to "Defying Gravity" and "My Shot" energize me on a personal and political level to keep going. We will win.

Simple cheer: this is when I get nostalgic. 90's pop, the a cappella music I listened to in high school, classic Disney...pure fun, and of course songs to which I can sing along.

Oh, and "No Man's Woman"...combines nostalgia (thanks mom!) and ass-kicking. :) 

The power held and imparted by art is truly amazing. There are other forms of self-care I engage in which I will come back to another time...but I never tire of finding more.
This is not a rhetorical question: how do you love yourself? Even if you don't want to share, take some time to think about it. And do it. 

You are worthy. You are loved.

xoxoxo

Emma

P.S. Don't forget to continue taking action: Rolling Stone has some ideas.